Gratitude and Humility

There are a lot of little pieces that go into any trip like the one my church is planning at the end of June. Travel expenses, both getting to Africa and getting around the communities in Kenya, living expenses--food and lodging, vaccinations (thankfully many of mine are up to date) and the list goes on.

I've never been someone who is good at asking for help or even sometimes receiving it. It's gotten me in trouble more than once and God is constantly reminding me that we are a community for a reason, sometimes you are the helper and sometimes you are the helpee. I think a lot of times it is easy for us to extend grace to every other person in the world but not ourselves. We feel guilty, we feel burdened (I know I do!) when really if we can humble ourselves and ask others for help, that are often happy to do so and we save ourselves a lot of trouble and pain in the end.

So this is me, attempting to humble myself and ask for your help. I can't make a trip like this without your help. The first thing I ask for, are your prayers. Please be praying for our team, for unity and good communication in our group. For organization, that we would all stay on task and not give Dana any additional work to do tracking us down. For safe travel to Kenya and back as well as around the communities while we are there. Pray that God would prepare our hearts for this adventure and be preparing the hearts of everyone we will be meeting in Kenya. For awareness of spiritual and other gifts, God has blessed each of us in so many unique ways and it is a beautiful thing when we work together to follow His plan and bring glory to Him.

Secondly, and the part that makes me cringe, I ask for assistance financially. As a mentioned above, it takes a lot to make a trip like this happen. Would you please consider sharing in this adventure with me and sponsoring me to help me go? No amount is too little, every penny, every dollar helps get me closer to Kenyan soil.

Lastly, I would be remiss if I did not mention how grateful for each of you who has already partnered with me, whether in prayer, or financially. Every time someone reached out to pray, offer support or just asked about the upcoming trip, I did a happy dance. Thank you for loving me, thank you for caring about something that is so close to my heart, thank you for hugging me, praying for me and getting excited with me. I don't have the words and thank you does not seem like enough, seventy times seven thank yous to each one of you. All of you have been and continue to be such a blessing to me.

If you are willing and able to donate, please visit the link below:
https://graceinkenya.managedmissions.com/MyTrip/gingerk88

Mungu akubarki na ahsante sana
(God bless you and many thanks) 

It Took a Miracle for Me to Get to Africa.

There was no parting of the Red Sea. No walking out of flames unscathed. No crossing on the top of the water. But just as powerful, and more significant to me, God did a changing in my heart. In 3 short days time, a complete 180 of desires and reasoning.

I was an 18 year old and relatively care-free college freshman. I spent my first week on campus, running around buildings, trying to climb the moose, drinking WAY too much raspberry tea and forging friendship that several of, unbeknownst to me, would be lifelong friendships. During that first week and at one of the freshman bonding activities, I found myself pouring my heart out to a lovely senior woman named Jen. I shared of my struggles, my battles with depression, my low self-worth and my lack of identity. Jen, God bless her, listened patiently and kindly without interruption.

I reached the end of my story, both of us in tears and Jen just kindly hugged me and offered few words the context being that I was loved (by her and by Jesus) and that I had made a new friend. Jen became a constant source of hope and wisdom in my life. She was gentle and fierce, passionate and understanding, and exactly the kind of person I needed in my life.

A few weeks later, over lunch she was sharing stories of some of the adventures she had taken, and most recently to Africa. I listened and was interested but remembered telling Jen, I was not the kind of person that could go to Africa, that I could never be that selfless, and I wished her well on her next unplanned adventure.

I really thought that that would be the end of the Africa conversation, I did not expect that God would have bigger plans for me.

I should back up and tell you that the church that I grew up in (from 7th grade until the time I went to college) was very mission-minded. I was heavily involved in the youth group and often we would have missionaries come in and talk to us about what God was doing in their lives and in the lives of the people they served. I would always get these intense bursts of passion and think to myself, "I can do that." and then I would forget about it. And not that I changed my mind but that life happened and those ideas were no longer in the center of my mind.

I really didn't remember these thoughts until about three days after my first conversation with Jen. At the time, in college, I was also pretty involved in a local non-denominational church called Deliverance and I was a part of their worship team there. Deliverance opened up something in my hear that I had not fully known had been missing until I started attending this church.  The way they worshiped was beautiful, with song and dance, with flags and instruments, it was one of the most amazing things I had experienced in my life. (And still is to this day.) Throughout the sermon you could usually here echoes of "Preach it, Preacher" and "Amen," just further reinforcement of the powerful message that was being delivered. Deliverance was the first church I began to understand the power of and beauty in worship and it was an amazing reflection of what I imagine worship will be in Heaven. God was also cultivating friendships in that church..I got to meet so many amazing men and women and they shared their stories with me. A lot of them having done mission work in Nigeria and other parts of Africa.

In those three short days, and the days to come, God kept opening up conversations around mission and service work, especially in regards to Africa. He also was putting memories in my head that I hadn't thought about in years, like those moments of intense passion for mission work. Over and over again, God would bring connections to Africa into my life. He was preparing my heart for service, and reminding me that He had been preparing my heart for a long time.

Three days after that first conversation with Jen and not only could I go to Africa but I needed to go to Africa, it was like I already knew that I would meet family and friends there, the impact of those relationships changing my life forever. It took more encounters and about 4 and a half years, but I was blessed with the opportunity to go to Tanzania shortly after my college graduation.

My main placement in Moshi, Tanzania was teaching at an elementary school. I also shadowed at a hospital, in a juvenile center and with a women's group. Cross Cultural Solutions (CCS) the program I traveled with strives to give adventurers a cultural learning experience in addition to the service piece so over my ten week stay in Moshi, there were language lessons, cooking lessons, cultural dance as well as visits to local tribes and historic relics.

Those 10 weeks, and the week after my program spent visiting missionary friends in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia were the most incredible and one of the most humbling experiences in my life. I learned a lot about myself and the person I wanted to be, the person God created me to be, and it was truly life changing.

In a little over three months, I have the opportunity to do something amazing again. At the end of  June, I will be traveling to Kenya with a team from my church, Grace Community. GCC partners with two communities in Kenya,  Katito and Kandaria. By the grace of God and by His provision over the last 9 years, we have been able to assist in bringing clean water and a medical center to Kandaria, and we have assisted in establishing a church, school and children’s home in Katito. We have also distributed thousands of Bibles and shared the Good News of Jesus, seeing many Kenyans come to Christ.   We are specifically working with House of Hope, a ministry to widows and orphans.  We will have opportunities to work in schools, speak in churches, assist in medical clinics and participate in construction projects as well as using our gifts and talents in various ways. 

I'm very excited about these opportunities and to be on African soil again. Please pray for the team and I, espcially team leads Matt H and Dana K as we prepare for this trip.

I will continue to keep this blog updated throughout the preparation process and hopefully, internet willing, while the team is in Kenya.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my heart and this next adventure. If you have any interest in supporting me in addition to the prayers I have already asked for, and so appreciate, please visit my fundraising page: https://graceinkenya.managedmissions.com/MyTrip/gingerk88

A lot of what is on that page is echoed here so please be patient with the repetition. Again, I am so thankful you took the time to read my story and consider donating.

Mungu awabariki na safari njema,
Tangawizi

My Journey Home

People have always said I have a wandering spirit. It's one of those things that is frustrating, no one ever says it like it's a good thing.

Generally I have the ability to be comfortable in most situations and to make friends wherever I go. That used to be frustrating as well, I have friends all over the states and in different countries and I miss them dearly. Sometimes I wish I could be in eight places at once.

However, over the past few years, I have started to realize how much of a blessing this truly is, there are many places I call home, many friends I call family and I know if I ever find myself in a bind, I have people all over the country and all over the world that I can count on.

Recently, a friend and very talented artist painted a canvas for me with Africa in the background and the phrase "not all who wander are lost" in the forefront. Right now it is sitting on my kitchen table, leaning against the back wall and every morning I see it and smile. It's also usually the last thing I see before I go upstairs to be and it's an excellent reminder to be thankful for this "wandering heart" of mine.

Most of you know that about 3 years ago I spent a few months in Tanzania and it was one of most amazing experiences of my life. It is one of many places that I have felt at home, the people welcome you with open arms and I made many lasting friendships for which I am very thankful. Since I have been back in the States, the idea of returning to visit my family has been pulling on my heart strings. A few months ago an opportunity was presented to me and I wrote a letter that I am going to share with you in a moment. As you read it, I hope that you would pray for me as I see where the next step on my journey might be. There is a very exciting opportunity on the horizon and I'm praying that it becomes a reality. Work has already graciously agreed to let me travel for 4-6 weeks and still come back to a job. The next step is a financial piece and I have been budgeting but a round trip ticket costs close to $2000 and I  want to be certain that I am doing this right if I am going to save and spend that money.

So, without further ado, here is that letter. Please join me in prayer over the next step in my journey:

Hello friend,

Thank you for being YOU! If you are receiving this letter it is because you hold a special place in my heart, have been a source of sage wisdom and joyous encouragement over the years and are a blessing to my life!

As most of you probably know, about two and a half years ago I had the amazing opportunity and blessing to travel to Moshi, Tanzania through Cross Cultural Solutions, CCS. CCS is an amazing organization and seeks to give you a service experience but also a cultural experience, there really is an immersion and you learn a lot about the history of where you were staying, the people and their lives. My sister Brittany also traveled to Costa Rica through CCS and had an incredible experience as well. She had been in Costa Rica prior to her CCS with a study abroad program but said she really felt a connection through CCS and their programming. (That was always a huge benefit because when my mom heard that her crazy, adventurous daughter wanted to travel to the middle of Africa; she was comfortable and trusted CCS to get me to the other side of the world.)

While I was there, I made many friends from all over the states, to Canada, to Denmark and from different countries in Africa. (Several of who(m), thankfully, I am still in close contact with today!) One of those friends, Christiane, is graduating in May of 2015 and we have already been talking about and planning a return trip.

God has definitely been opening a lot of doors with this opportunity for travel to open and a comfortable, reasonably flexible job that would allow me to take this trip.

What I am requesting of you, dear friends, is that you would lift me up and prayers and that God would make apparent to me what is the best choice that lies ahead of me, and if this is truly a God thing. I also invite you to ask me any questions you may have about my prior trip, the possibility of this trip, or any other questions about my life. (Lord knows I LOVE to talk about Tanzania and I have a lot of exciting things happening in my life right now!)

I have so many blessings to be thankful for that I would love to share with all of you and also I seek the wisdom, prayer, and support from you, my beloved family and friends. (Or as Sprint so wisely and affectionately coined it, my framily.)

Nawapenda sana 

Love,

Tangawizi (Ginger) 

His Unfailing Grace

I'm amazed, I'm overjoyed, I'm still processing how awesome God is! Does He ever just smack you in the face with His grace, blindsiding you to the point of unbelievable dismay, overwhelming gratitude? I don't know whether to cry with joy, dance or sing!

It all started with a decision, and not of my own power but by God's grace, a decision to forgive someone from my pre-teen and early teenage years. A friend but the kind that kept you on a string, someone that you were hurt by but someone that you also inevitably hurt. An extension of grace in the form of a Facebook request as if to say the past is the past, let's move on to whatever God has for us. I've forgiven you, whether or not I ever receive an apology.

Fast forward a few days...you're having a terrible morning. The days at work have been draining, emotionally and physically. Satan knows this pain and turmoil and he tries to dig in deeper. You remember that friend request that is sitting out there and decide to "unfriend" to save yourself the embarrassment. Fear sets in...what if this person hates you? What if this person is laughing at you, thinks you a fool? What if this person never realizes how much you were hurt by their actions? And the worst...what if this person never knew how much you agonized over what you decided you must have done wrong, something that had to have been awfully terrible to distress the friendship.

And as you log into Facebook that morning you see that the friend request has been accepted. A breath of grace washes over you, Satan loses, the victory has already been won! And little do you know that God is about to astound you even more...

You move on, you go to a bonfire at a friend's house and enjoy excellent company. The doorbell rings and several people walk in. Forgetting that breath of grace, fear sits in as you see who the last person is and you scamper away to the fire outside hoping they did not notice you. You laugh and joke and you enjoy other friend's company but ultimately decide to leave the party early because you work early in the morning and you have become afraid of this encounter again. Do you have the strength to forgive, to let go and let God use this moment for His grace, His mercy, and His glory? Of course not, you run away with your tail between your legs.

Fast forward to Sunday morning. You're refreshed, you're renewed and you're ready to receive God's blessings and promises. While greeting other friends they sneak up on you again, but this time you have no other option...you have already hugged everyone else in the group so you hug them as well with a big albeit nervous smile, and you meet their fiancé. You congratulate them in person and laugh saying you probably have already done so on Facebook but wanted to in person as well. And then you make an excuse to run away before your tongue slips, still being afraid of what may be on the end of it.

Sitting by the waterfall wall is one of your favorite places to sit in church, to see God's people gathered and greeting and to hear the soothing, continual fall of water. (Similarly you will soon realize to his ever falling, ever present grace.)

This person comes and sits next to you, they ask you about your life, they joke about theirs. Then they lean in and you can see how hard this is for them, how much they want to erase the past, maybe even more so than you do, and they apologize. They promise you that that is not the person they are or want to be and they assure you that the only way they can earn your friendship and trust back is by continually, consistently being a better person and extending God's grace and love to you.

You're blown away! You laugh and cry at the same time and make apologies of your own. Of course you forgive them, and you really did stop blaming them a long time ago for any pain they might have caused. God's grace washes over like a waterfall...forget rain or splashing, you are drowning in God's grace and it is the most, amazing, pure and beautiful thing! You laugh and hug and tell each other you love one another. Amazed and in a daze you go into the sermon, just to be more fully washed over in His grace through the worship and the message.


All I can say is, that God does the most amazing things. And when that kind of grace has been extended to you, and shown to you...the natural response is to want to share it. Not that this suffices but I will be looking for more individual opportunities to extend it.

To those I have hurt, I am sorry. I am trying to be more gentle, more observant, more gracious and more kind. To those I have lied to, or deceived, I am sorry. I am trying to be more honest and more trustworthy.

And to you dear friend, I am excited to see what God has in store for us. I promise to renew and refresh daily and to always be reminded of the grace he has extended to both of us.

Ahsante Baba Mungu, you never fail to amaze me.

Every Lane is a Passing Lane

(I started this blog in February of last year, in an effort to stay better connected with all of you and my Tanzanian loves, i am going to try to finish it.)

Sometimes I forget that there are traffic laws in Tanzania. It's hard enough that we drive on the left side of the road and the right side of the car but, when you see cars passing each other whenever they choose it gets a little hectic. Factor in the donkey and children that are almost always on the road and it's really crazy. And that is on the main roads, you can forget about trying to navigate the back roads which are dirt roads. On back roads, add cows, goats, vendors, chickens and more donkeys to the mix. Thankfully I'm in the van with Baba John who is probably one of the safest and most aware drivers in Moshi. His music choice is also a nice blend of Celine Dion and our various Tanzanian favorites. Kaka Danny on the other hand (in the other van) is alike with most drivers thinking that driving is a race and braking optional. His music choice is his favorite CD played over and over again. Many of the other van riders were tempted to steal and destroy this beloved CD of his. I was fortunate enough to enjoy my few rides with Danny and his taste in music because I was only exposed to it about three times.

Being back in the states and reflecting on this makes me realize that Pennsylvania drivers are much worse than Tanzanian drivers and they don't even have goats to avoid! No one yields in Cranberry, traffic speeds are more observed as a minimal rather than the actual speed you should be at. Texting, phone calls, make-up application and newspaper run rampant on I79. I've come to realize the difference is, it makes sense here. In a culture where everything is fast pace, we are always looking forward to the next big thing, speedy driving and emailing and make-up application all at the same time makes sense. And I mean, who actually drives 35mph on Franklin, right? I know I find myself going significantly above allowed speed.

This fashion if driving however does not make sense in Tanzania where I would not call the living slow but less chaotic. People work hard, they work long hours but they do these things with their community. Women carry long and heavy loads on their heads and yet don't need to fit in time for the weekly massage, People know their neighbors and even if they don't greet one another as if friends anyway.

It's been over a year since I left last year for Moshi and about 10 months that I have been back in the states, I find myself trying very hard not to lose the mindset I left Tanzania with. Life is more than a business meeting, a trip to the gym, a massage. A smiling and a warm greeting go a long way in making a difference in someone's day and their life, You don't need amenities to be happy, love for Jesus and love for his people and creation will suit you just fine, and suit you better if you take the time to realize it.

So friends in the blogosphere, this is my challenge for you (and for myself.) Live in the moment, but live life a little slower. Greet your neighbors as friends and greet strangers as neighbors. Appreciate every thing you have and be thankful as if tomorrow you might lose it all. Love well and love often and let the ones who mean the most to you know that they do. This one is mostly for me but if it affects you too....don't let past hurt, arguments, drama ruin a relationship with a friend or family member. Be smart about what you preserve but try to forgive before you prune.

Nawapenda sana, Mungu ibaraki! 

The only difference...

I always see posts that say: "The only difference between tattooed and non-tattooed people is that the tattooed don't care if you're tattooed or not." This is true. As someone with tattoos, I can say that I honestly do not care if you have 0 tattoos, 1, or resemble Kat Von D or the lizard man.

Lately, I've been thinking that the only difference between heterosexuals and homosexuals is that the homosexuals don't care if you're homosexual or not.

And yet, these people who are being much more accepting of those unlike them are the ones who get things thrown at them or told that God hates them. These are the soldiers who make sacrifices yet have "church" groups flood their funeral with "God hates you" posters. These people, that society and unfortunately, mostly polluted "Christian" society has labeled as wrong or sinners. They are the tattooed, gay, pierced, transgender, wrong political party, etc. and everything else that has been deemed wrong or unholy.

Recently, one of my brothers, Corey, posted about how he saw two men sporting "God hates you" t-shirts in the gay district of New York City where Corey has been volunteering with a laundry love project. He talked about how this is so heart breaking because it's not what true Christianity is about. He's right, Jesus called his disciples to love as he loved. To sit with the prostitutes, tax-collectors,etc and everyone who was cast aside.

Corey mentioned that he didn't go over and speak with them because he was afraid he would act in anger and since they were obviously demonstrating enough unjust anger and hate.

I have no idea how I would have reacted in this situation but I started thinking about it more and more. I can only hope that I would have stood next to them and held a God is love sign. That I would have have had the courage, faithfulness but yet also peacefulness that would allow me to just stand there. To be quiet instead of being loud. I wouldn't have to say anything because I'd be saying enough just standing there.

As most of you know I am fairly hot-headed myself so the likelihood of me being peaceable enough to manage this is unlikely. However, as I travel, not only out of the country, but also in my walk of faith I have found that God is changing me. He is forming me as only he can. I came back from Tanzania, a much more mellow person with a much better picture of God's call for her life. So maybe, just maybe, someday, I will be able to be more quiet. To be silent when I all I want to do is speak, rightly or wrongly justified. To have no words when words would just be useless, when a simple act of love would speak volumes more.

God gave the greatest act of love and sacrifice for me, maybe, just maybe, I can share a minute fraction of it with the world.

Nawapenda sana (I love you all very much.) As frustrated as I have been and as much as I have been missing Tanzania, God reminded me that he is still growing me and still has a purpose for me here. Ahsante Baba, Mungu ibariki.

And the Kili Saga continues...

Two weekends ago I decided to do the Kilimanjaro day hike again because I enjoyed it so much the first time...and a little of me wanted to show off to the newbies. (;

I'm amazed at the difference 2 weeks can make. On the first hike we had perfect weather, sun shining and the hike is mostly shaded by trees so it's fairly cool...you're still totally drenched when you get to the first camp. It was relatively safe, aside from a few stubbed toes no one really had any injuries or falls. As we were hiking we saw several other groups coming down the mountain. The only ran we saw all day was at the end of our hike right before we got into the Dala Dala.

Hike 2 was a completely different experience. It was about 10 degrees cooler and there was mud everywhere. We slipped and slid all the way up and all the way down. Everyone was constantly watching their feet and we still had some twisted ankles. This didn't work out so well for me because I was carrying my backpack in front of me (everyone was calling it my baby!) Well, I was slightly concerned by the fact that my baby smelt like a burger (my lunch) and I couldn't see my feet. And...I'm not sure how my pregnant friends do it...not being able to see your feet is a scary thing! (<3 to a.m and e.w!)

This weekend was a little rough for everyone around the house...all of the newbies were busy sunning (and burning!)in Zanizibar and for those left at the house we had 5 goodbyes this weekend alone! Many teary goodbyes to Vivian, Sarah, Lisa, Marissa and Jess...living in a house like this really makes you feel like family and it was sad to see our dadas (sisters) leave! It really hit us Sunday morning when it was just Amy and I eating breakfast because there were only 3 left in the house (with the newbies away) and Bibi was at church.

In addition to the sadness we had a little excitement this weekend. Four of us spent Saturday morning in town, walking around and for those who were leaving, doing some last minute shopping. As we were walking to Union Cafe to join  our friend Jess (before she left) we were suddenly stopped by a riot outside a store. All we could really see was a big man waving a huge pole around, several people grabbing each other and we heard a lot of screaming. The best we can figure is that the man with the pole was trying to rob one of the clothing stores. This was made much more scary by the fact we couldn't really understand what was going on because of the language barrier...I guess we're really not in Kansas anymore.

After the weekend of goodbyes and the excitement from Saturday we decided we needed a quiet afternoon Sunday before saying one last goodbye. We spent the day poolside at the gorgeous Impala Hotel. I had fried rice for lunch that rivals some of the Chinese I've had in America. 

We're looking forward to a nice quiet week at our placements and will be traveling to the hot springs on Friday before the next round of goodbyes.

Asante sana na nawapenda! (Thank you--for following my blog-- and I love you all!)